deviant art





Login
Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour Lost Password?
Deviant Login
Buy Art Buy deviantWEAR Buy adCast Buy Premium Upgrade
Shop
 Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]

More from ~Elmara

Featured in Groups:

group avatar #Writers-Workshop
Where writers workshop writing! group avatar #HighQualityArt

Details

December 26, 2009
1.7 KB
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 65
Favourites: 42 [who?]
Views: 1,821 (0 today)
Downloads: 42 (0 today)

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
[x]

~Elmara has limited the viewing of this artwork
to members of the deviantART community only.

You can log in or become a member for FREE!

:iconelmara:
Finally.. DONE! On the last day of the workshop too. ^^;

To paraphrase Douglas Adams; I love deadlines, I like to wave at them as they pass me by. :bucktooth:

So this poem was originally written for `leoraigarath.

After reading Letter to the First Poet on Mars by ~TheHungerArtist I was pretty awe-struck and couldn't resist the chance to re-morph my previous attempt into something more solid for `lovetodeviate 's workshop on 'You' being currently hosted by #Writers-Workshop (Thanks, Adititi, for the encouragement!)

:bulletgreen: Daily Lit Deviation
:bulletgreen: Writers-Workshop conclusion
:bulletgreen: Polished Poetry Competition hosted by `Amberlouie

:bulletblue: Shortlisted for the Matthew Rocca Poetry Award for Verandah's V25.
:icon:
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment
love 15 15 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconphylosofical:
~phylosofical Jul 10, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
Agree with 'lovetodeviate's critique, although I would like to add that the use of the word [drag] in place of the word smear... introduces a more clearly defined visual to the line as Chopin favoured crisp clear short notes to long ones. I'm Just saying, but OMG what a wonderful peice! and could you explain why the maestro is throwing fits in space amongst satellite pianos?- Are they in competition with him or are they in discord with the harmony which the maestro seeks to conduct?

--
Inspirations come and go like careless breaths.
Reply
:iconelmara:
~Elmara Sep 25, 2010  Student Writer
Thanks very much for the wonderful comment! I'm so sorry for the abominabbly late reply ^^;

'Drag' is correct, technically, but I wanted to introduce a more visual element to the image of a crisp, clear note (characteristic of Chopin, like you said) being 'smeared' and fuzzy, hence, that particular word choice.

Not really, I just think he's having trouble re-mastering his piano-playing technique in zero-G and is therefore having a hissy fit :D

Thanks, again!

:heart:

--
what we choose is never what we really need

Send us poems!

#themissingslate|#Writers-Workshop
Reply
:icontornstitches:
~TornStitches Feb 20, 2010
wow- this is a shockingly beautiful & well-versed piece. the space/extraterrestrial themes coupled w/ those of the Classical composers & musical terms really make for an interesting & absorbing read.

--
"Like our ancestors/The Indians/We share a fear of sex/
excessive lamentation for the dead/& an abiding interest
in dreams & visions" - Jim Morrison
Reply
:iconelmara:
Mood: Love ~Elmara Mar 2, 2010  Student Writer
thanks very much! i'm really thankful for your appreciation :heart:

--
what we choose is never what we really need

Send us poems!

#themissingslate|#Writers-Workshop
Reply
:iconkneelingglory:
!KneelingGlory Feb 1, 2010
Mmmm, it was just as delicious the fifth time around. Tell me, are you planning to publish a book of your poetry?

--
Only stupid people think they are wise.
Amazing avatar by ~Anji-was-here

*DailyLitDeviations | #Critique-It | #Xpose-it | #themissingslate
Reply
:iconelmara:
Mood: Love ~Elmara Feb 2, 2010  Student Writer
thanks, KG :blush:

ummm.. no? I have no idea how to go about the process or even if i should bother since no one in Pakistan would be interested in reading anything with my name on it :XD:

--
what we choose is never what we really need

Send us poems!

#themissingslate|#Writers-Workshop
Reply
:iconkneelingglory:
!KneelingGlory Feb 2, 2010
Ah, but that's the wonderful thing about the internet! You can market your work to anyone you want. Stick it on Amazon.com and see what happens lol.

As for publishing, I dunno about the copyright rules in Pakistan, but over here all you need to do is slap the book together and mail a copy to the library of congress asking for a ISBN number and they'll stick it in their records here so no one else can claim your work.

--
Only stupid people think they are wise.
Amazing avatar by ~Anji-was-here

*DailyLitDeviations | #Critique-It | #Xpose-it | #themissingslate
Reply
:iconelmara:
~Elmara Feb 10, 2010  Student Writer
man, that sounds so awesome :excited:
have you self-published? how's the feedback like for that?

--
what we choose is never what we really need

Send us poems!

#themissingslate|#Writers-Workshop
Reply
:iconkneelingglory:
!KneelingGlory Feb 10, 2010
I'm in the process of self-publishing, so I don't know yet :P It is a good idea to get at least one person who has been in the literary world for a while to review your work so you have some kind of praise to attach to it. I'm working on that part now. ^_^

--
Only stupid people think they are wise.
Amazing avatar by ~Anji-was-here

*DailyLitDeviations | #Critique-It | #Xpose-it | #themissingslate
Reply
:iconelmara:
~Elmara Mar 14, 2010  Student Writer
i'll nag you for pointers as soon as your book comes out :P i don't really know anyone on dA who could take out the time to review any pieces i figure would be good enough to make a collection out of. Plus most people in Pakistan would rather trash your stuff while its still in its infancy so to speak rather than encourage you :shrug: it's a pretty small literary world here, even smaller when you consider the english language market here. so, yeah, i dunno. wish me luck? :D

--
what we choose is never what we really need

Send us poems!

#themissingslate|#Writers-Workshop
Reply
:icon:
Add a Comment:
 
Preview   Add Comment
©2012 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Developers | Careers | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Premium Membership Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy